I came across an article from The Elephant Journal on 'The art of receiving pleasure' and it moved me to share my journey within this vitally important dynamic with each of us and our relating with others.
Personally this has been and still is the greatest, most rewarding and expanding thing I have ever tried to master within myself.
It's also been THE hardest thing to face within myself and my heart. It seems so illogical to push away and distrust the unconditional love around me yet I have to be honest and admit that sometimes, in the most intimate of moments, my mind starts to stir and my body tenses up and becomes afraid. Afraid of what you may ask.
My story tells me that I'm afraid of what it might mean if I truly surrender to receiving pleasure and ultimately deserving unconditional love. It will mean that there's nothing inside me that's bad, that's undeserving and needs to be punished and deprived of love. It means that all the things I was told about myself and what I learnt from my painful experiences from those around me when I was little aren't true. This truth alone will leave my story no room to breathe and slowly die. Most of the time I have this story in check. I allow it to be and I move onto other things. Then there are these times that I feel the presence of my story fighting for life, fighting to be relevant and wanting to disrupt these intimate moments. In these times I've come to listen to my body and realise that I'm not quite there yet and be compassionate with myself. Life is an evolution, a peeling back of the layers of self and I relish the fact that there are still layers of myself to be peeled back, edges to be explored that will ultimately lead me to more of myself....as it always has.
At the end of the day when I'm all alone, and the world outside has turned down and become irrelevant, I alone sit with my heart and understand the truth of things. That my story is simply that...a story and that I exist on so many other layers than that which my mind wants me to sometimes believe and come to realise the greatest truth of all. That my fear and resistance to receiving pleasure and unconditional love has nothing to do with anyone else. It's a reflection of my internal relationship with my own heart and trusting my own self to treat myself with respect and offer pleasure and unconditional love to my body, my heart and my being. To be that which I know I deserve...just for me.
I encourage anyone to give this article a read and start up an internal conversation with yourself about where your truth is in regards to receiving and allowing pleasure and unconditional love to penetrate your heart, body and spirit. To shake up any places that may be waiting to shield you or protect you from receiving pleasure and unconditional love. Then share your truth with the ones that mean the most to you. If you can't share the depths of your truth with the ones closest to you, how are they meant to understand how best to give you love and pleasure in the ways you desire and support you when you feel yourself pulling away.
Love loves love and creates more love when its loved and allowed to be it's juicy self. Allow it in and it will create a fire within you that will keep all those around you warm and in return you will receive the warmth radiating from them or it may encourage them to look at why their internal flame is dim. This is humanity at its best!
All my love,
Graeme Salvetti
Embodiment Coach
graemesalvetti@gmail.com